Misjudging intentions, reading actions wrong
Everything I’ve learnt about re-framing, I’ve forgotten to use!
I wonder why.
With a plastic plate laden with ‘goodies’, we hurried to find a place to sit close to the food stalls. Eventually, on the third row close to where we stood, we found three free seats.
Sighing with gratitude, I laid my plate down on table #1, momentarily separated from my daughter by a chair that belonged to another table, #2.
Then, we proceeded to sit but for the voice of the lady across from me which stilled us in our tracks. ‘Sorry’, she said ‘I’m saving that seat for someone’, pointing to the chair opposite her – the very chair my hands lay upon. She offered me two seats, one to her right and the other, opposite her but to the left. The free seats were diagonal to one another, meaning that my 4 year old- daughter and I would be separated. I was upset. Maybe prematurely.
As we pondered what to do, the friend she’d saved the seat for walked up to her and sat right next to her – not across, as she’d initially indicated but right next to her. She got lost in her conversation as we looked on, helpless and weary. While we were deciding on what to do, I looked across to table #2 where my daughter had her hand on a chair, the same minute the chair was pulled away, by a foot, under the table.
Turning in slight and tightly controlled anger I turned to the lady at the second table and said, ‘You didn’t have to move the chair like that, you could have said excuse me’. Shocked, she tried to explain to me, (eventually when I let her get a word in) that she was only trying to help me. Help me indeed, I couldn’t see how. And then, I spotted a free table with many chairs to the end of the room and we gathered our belongings and walked away. I was upset. Really upset. Feeling ‘victimised’. Five minutes later I had calmed down and realised that regardless of how people acted, I had a choice to ‘do and speak right’ and so I walked back to Table #2 and I apologised.
I started by explaining my bias and how I shouldn’t have spoken to her that way and how wrong I was and then the penny really dropped – she was moving the chair out of my way seeing as it was tight and busy. I was truly shocked. Where I thought she was being mean, hoarding the chair and not letting us sit,…she wasn’t. She was actually being kind. To me. Something a lot of people are.
Thank you and Lord forgive me.
I need to learn how to re-frame situations, see them from another angle, test other options before I respond.
I left her contrite with my eyes awash – a lesson learned. For today and tomorrow. And hopefully for the future.
I’m glad for this chance and reminder to focus on good and positive and being as creative with my thoughts as I am with food (sometimes).
Leading me on to my offering today: Preserved citruses, like salt-preserved lemons, only in this case, preserved with sugar and a touch of Cointreau.
Months back, I had leftover blood oranges and knowing they would soon be out of season, decided to save some for the coming months. And while I like preserved lemons, I don’t love them.
It was easy to do this: I quartered the citrus, and layered them in a sterilised kilner jar, topping each layer with caster sugar. I repeated this, pushing down so as much fruit as possible could go in.
When the jar had almost reached its limits, I stopped, glad I had used all my oranges, lemons and limes.
Next came some more sugar to fill it all the way…….to the very top.
Thing is, as you press down, some juices come up and the sugar and fruit juice begin to mix. Because I had the last of my Cointreau (I’d had it for 2 years!), sitting round waiting to be used, I poured some in, figuring it would make a nice syrup to add to some cream, some day!
And that brought a close to the jar.
Which still sits in my fridge, in a corner, untouched. So far, I haven’t been inspired to use it but I know the time will soon come.
I’m looking forward to summer fruit and perhaps sneaking some into jams. I have also considered using them in sweet bakes and savoury stews –Â I don’t think the fact that they are sugared will matter as they aren’t heavily so. And I believe that refreshing summer lemonades can be made with the glorious liquids contained in this jar!
And so I leave you, again with a little word – in 2 days time, this blog will be a year old. Boy, has it been a full year. I am shocked but truth be told, it is a lot older than 1.
Join me on the 17th of June for a small celebration of thanks – to God, to my husband and family, to you my readers and to my friends who have supported me from the start.
I’ll share the story of how I started blogging, the resources I found helpful, who my first ever comment was from and what I plan to do with this blog in future. If you care.
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[wpurp-searchable-recipe]Preserved Citruses: Lemons, Oranges and Limes – – – [/wpurp-searchable-recipe]
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Ah yes, so often I also berrate myself for ‘forgetting’ to think and behave in ways I aspire to. But you responded quickly Oz and you were brave enough to go back and apologise and through doing that found a new understanding of the situation. If only we could all remember to be so wise more often eh? Well done you!
And I am very intrigued with the idea of sugar preserved citrus. I would love to know how it tastes…go on, do something with it and let us all know!
Thank you for your wise words and encouragement. And empathy! We learn daily…..
Ozoz, I love you so much. 🙂 Thank you for this story, your beautiful honesty and openness. I’m all teary now too, learning once again the wisdom in waiting before responding and saving myself grief. Your citrus concoction is inspired and wonderful. Makes me want to go home and preserve things. 🙂
Great story. A lesson for us all.
The citrus sounds lovely can’t wait to see what you do with it.
Mimi
What a great story, and I’ve had many of those framing incidents myself. Oh if only life had a replay button.
I’ve preserved many a lemon but never thought to treat citrus like this – I love the idea Thanks so much for sharing! I have got to try this soon!
Speaking of sharing, I cannot believe you’ve only had this blog for a year, its incredible. This is one i savor.
I love the ‘replay’ button!!!!! And thank you for savouring Kitchen Butterfly!
These look simply gorgeous. I should preserve some citrus!
I think we’ve all been there, but kudos to you for going back.
Lovely recipe and beautiful photos as always. I’m sure I sound like a broken record, lol, but they truly are!
The sugar is gorgeous and reminds me of snow crystals. What a thought provoking post… and all can relate. I would love to see the fruit plated. It looks gorgeous.
🙂
Valerie
Valerie, as soon as my camera is back, I promise you a bowl of preserved fruit!
Congrats on your 1st year and a lesson learned…thanks
What an inspiration you are Oz, with you ideas as well as you actions!(of course we all have a little mother bear in us)
I’ve always wanted to try preserved lemons, but was unsure of the salt. I like the idea of using sugar, and I think I even have a little Cointreau left that I’ve had for at least 2 years. 😀
You are such an open hearted person OZ, not many people would have gone back to apologize. Will definitely stop by on your first birthday!
Beautiful citrus too.
As much as most of us aim to be rational human beings, sometimes a situation can get the better of us – because we are human, and because we have emotions. Something that makes us beautiful but which can be a downfall if not wisely used.
Don’t worry, my dear, your willingness to share yourself so opening is beautiful as are the colours of the fruits above =)
Hi Oz – what a great post – really, we ALL need a reminder once in awhile that we should try and look at things from a different perspective. I admire your honesty and willingness to share this with us.
Your humality is such a beautiful quality. Isn’t it wonderful how God shapes and moulds us everyday….
I have never thought of sweet preserved citrus fruits….clever, very clever!!
so sorry about the situation and thanks for sharing adore what you do with citrus
I must do this, seems like it would be perfect to store up at the cabin!
The lovely cabin. When you do, let me know so we can come and visit….
We do misunderstand people a lot of times. you were wonderful to be able to reflect and apologize. Most would not have taken the trouble.
and those citruses look like theyre just waiting to be put into some delicious use. ANd knowing you im sure they will be soon 🙂
Great idea! Will do that since I have lemons and beautiful oranges.
This is an amazing idea indeed! Your post is always so insightful.
What an amazing idea…I’ve never tried preserving citrus, but I’m totally inspired! I hope you have a blessed evening!
Oh I can identify with that story but well done on going back to apologise. I have to say if someone did that to HoneyB’s chair I would have reacted the same way. But all’s well that ends well 🙂
Those fruits look divine!